TWENTY

A video of me rambling and revealing my messed up thoughts on turning 20

I'm writing this blog post a night before i turn 20. Gahhh, i'm turning 20! It's such a crazy thought because i sure am not ready yet. Like with turning 20, that'll mean i'll have no more excuse for my childish actions, i'll have to face more responsibilities, and the idea that i'll now have to say goodbye to my teenage years is pretty epic. I mean it's like my teenage year will have to go out the window and that i'll have to open the door to legit adulthood now. Gahhhh! I'm seriously just not ready for it (refer to video to see how hectic my mind was).


My teenage life has been a blast, looking back i've done so many things. I've said this in the video but i just gotta type it all down again. But woah, growing up in different countries, adapting and trying to adjust to the places, environment, and the people was pretty dramatic. Finding my own self along the way, dealing with different personalities, going through breakups and backstabbing. I've experienced them all! The only regrets i have were making the wrong decisions, and hurting the people i've hurt because of that. But through those, i guess i have become stronger and wiser, and through those i now know who my real friends are. I know who has stayed when i needed them, and i know who will be there to accept me, comfort me and give me advices despite the wrong things i have done.


Well, i am pretty proud to say that before turning 20, i have my life a little fixed together. I mean i do have a boyfriend who's been there, is there and will be there for me. I also have amazing friends who i can count on, and a family who will support me. I've experienced everything i wanted to experience, so i'm pretty blessed at this stage of my life. I have the right people who will guide me to be a better person, and i have a more mature mind to help me make better decisions in life.


So i guess a pat on the back for being a stronger person now, Steph. Cheers to the adventures to come soon! Cheers to creating and making yourself into the successful person you want to become. And finally, cheers to happiness in the future.



Happy 20th, Steph. Go get 'em!

Tangadan Falls!

I was invited to go to Tangadan Falls by Jen. It was an early birthday celebration for her. So okay, first i didn't think i was going to go. Gahh, the call time was at 6 in the morning and i was still in Baguio at that time. That meant i had to take the first trip of Partas to travel to San Fernando. Didn't really like the idea of waking up that early, considering that i have been such a lazy bum the past few days. Haa! But i ended up going. It was freakin' Tangadan Falls! I was so jealous at the pictures of my friends who have been there already, so i just had to go!

Woke up at half past 2 in the morning on the 5th of June. I packed my bag, had a quick shower, then left. I left early so that i could catch a taxi straight away and thought that i might just wait at the bus station. I ended up waiting for a taxi ride for 30min though. My whole area was empty at 3 in the morning. I arrived at the bus station 15min earlier than i expected, which was good since i got a seat up front at the bus afterwards. Took a nap on the way then the next thing i knew i was already at Bauang, La Union. A breakfast at McDo was very much needed at that time, since i knew i was going to be hiking for over an hour later that day. Met up with the boyfriend and the others afterwards, then off we went!

They said it was going to be a 2 hour hike. But it ended up being just over an hour. It was epic hiking with slippery slippers, tripping here and there, getting cuts and scratches. Gahh, it was my first time to go hiking! Good thing my boyfriend was good at jumping, climbing, and hiking in general. He was there to help me every step of the way and would frequently hear him say "come on baby, you can do it!". I seriously don't know if i would've survived still if he weren't there. Haa! 

My first swim there was not cool. I swam and and got hit by a rock straight away on the knee. The sudden appearance of rocks was not cool at all. Was also scared to swim in the middle, didn't think i was that good of a swimmer to be able to survive. But i ended up trying, and hey, i didn't drown. Haa! I wasn't as bad as i thought. My boyfriend can't swim at all, so i ended up swimming with my friends instead. We later got the idea of putting him up on a floaty so that he can at least go near the falls, which was so epic! I was the one pushing him towards the falls while he was just sitting there like a king. He felt bad in the end, but hey, what can we do aye? Haha. My friends also ended up jumping of the cliff! They were so scared in the beginning but ended up jumping off of it. If only i wasn't so scared to drown, i would've done it too! I probably need more training. Will still have that "jumping off a cliff" on my bucket list!

At the end of the day i was just too damn tired to function. I was dirty, tired and weak. Though that was the case, i still had a blast! Such an awesome day it was. 

My partners in crime yo

Had a freaking blast with my babes! June 4, 2014.

Destinations: Teacher's Camp. Pizza Hut. Maharlika. Cafe Lusso. 

First Anniversary!

Time really flies fast, aye? In a click the alarm in my memory rang telling me it's already been a year since we got back together. Gosh, many memories are now flashing through my mind; from our shy "nice to see you again" moments, to the first time we'd meet each other's parents, and to the awesome getaways we've had. Don't know what else to say, i mean i've already posted blogs about our history, how we started as high school sweethearts, entered the LDR path, separated, and now back together. It's been a pretty hectic journey to get to where we are now, but i gotta say that it truly is worth it.


To prepare for this special day, i know that we're broke since we gotta save up for our fare to travel to Clark. But that doesn't mean i'll have to excuse myself from surprising you in the small ways i know?  


So first, i prepared you a video containing all our memories captured on film for this past year. I've prepared it since February, i think? I was a little excited, i gotta admit. Next, i wrote you a song. I haven't cleaned the rough patches of it yet, but i promise you i'll finish it. The lyrics are done, right in time for our special day. I also prepared you a wall filled with reasons why i love you and how much you mean to me, just to surprise you a little when you visit me. And finally, i wrote you a letter. It was a simple one, i just had a lot of things i wanted to say to you in my mind and so i needed to write all of it on the letter.


The best part of this all? His reaction! Was just too priceless. I never expected him to react that way, i thought these things were too simple, and yet there he was with such a reaction. Made me feel special, how small things like these would mean a lot for a guy like him. The tight hugs and the stare with a smile? Gahhh *spazzing just at the thought of remembering it*


Honestly, it's been an amazing 1 year with you baby... Through the little misunderstandings and fights we've had, we were able to make it, stronger each day. What i've done for you on our special day is nothing compared to what you have done for me through the years. Thank you so much for everything, seriously. For coming back into my life, i honestly couldn't have asked for more. God has blessed me enough. I hope you'd feel how much i love you through these small things.  


Happy Anniversary, baby! I love you, i honestly do.. More than words could ever explain.

Click to see the anniversary video i made, which i posted on Facebook.

Dinner at Don Henrico's: Fettuccine, Buffalo Wings & Baked Ziti.

My thoughts and feelings placed in a letter

Bought post-its and write all the reasons why i love him, to surprise him a little when he arrives. Didn't think i'd ever do things like this, but hey, only he has this effect on me.

A little selfie showing our haggardness before ending the day, lol.

 P.S. The next night we had Ramyun for dinner, then had tofu for a little late snack. Made bacon and cheese omelette with him the next morning, totally the best evurrr! Topped all those yummy treats with cookies and cream ice cream. Gahhh, y so perfect baby?! Hahaha. Cheers to the most simple yet amazing anniversary celebration with you baby! Anything we do is just the best baby. I love you so much! 

Goodbye 2013

Date check: 2 more days till 2014. Wow.

A million memories are flashing through my mind right now, i mean i can't even describe how different and how blessed i have been this year. If i was to sum my year up in a sentence it would be like this; I met awesome friends and church leaders in Singapore, moved back to the Philippines alone to start college life, reunited with my old friends again, got back together with my first love, made new friends in Baguio City, did well on my first semester in university, realised i can do well in school and dance well, and experienced the
crazy hardships of being independent.

Yep. That's about it. But... 

There's so much more to that vague sentence. I've experienced so many new things that made me wiser. Been through tears and have reached a breaking point at one point in time, but all those just made me wiser. It's a tough world out there, and living alone kind of pushes you off the edge. Living alone made me realise that i can't be strong all the time, though choosing to be, with the help of genuine people who care about you, is the first step. I was able to be strong through many circumstances because i had a great support system, my boyfriend, my best friends and my family. They all remind me each time time to stay true to myself and to continue doing what i can. They remind me when to chill down and have fun when i start stressing out. They remind me to do well in whatever i am doing so that i can reach my goals and dreams. And lastly, they remind me that no matter what i am going through, they'll be there for me.

What i've learned on my own? Well i learned to not trust people easily. I learned that giving your trust to someone is a pretty heavy thing and that if given to a wrong person, you'll feel the heavy weight of regret on your back. I've realised that being too kind is not a good thing either. I'm way too kind, and though i know i shouldn't be, i still am right now. I still have to work on that. And lastly, i've learned that though it's a tough world to live in, there are still small but great things to smile about each day. Like the hugs and kisses you might get from a special someone, or a cute letter a friend would give or the chance of discovering a talent of yours or how smart you can actually be. And the fact that you're given a chance to wake up each morning is a huge blessing already; or that you're given the time to do whatever makes you happy, i think that's such a blessing. 

Thank You Lord, again you have made me go on a roller coaster ride, and again i know You were there riding with me. Thank you for all the experiences; through ups and downs Your presence was felt. Thank You. I'm looking forward to what 2014 will offer me, excited about what You will offer me. 

Cheers to new experiences, to new lessons and to new discoveries this 2014!

A few memories captured on film. Thank you guys for helping put a smile on my face this year!

Christmas Break 2013

Christmas won't be merry & New Year won't be happy without them by my side. I love you guys, so so much.

Stronger Than Ever

It’s been over two weeks since the day i finally got to see you again.. Since the day i finally got to hug you tight, hold your warm hands and give you sweet kisses. It felt like a dream, it felt so surreal. I used to only imagine everything in my mind, i used to only dream about you.. And now, after over three years, you’re here with me again..



You probably don’t know how much i was overwhelmed with anxiety before i saw you. I was planning everything in my mind, every words and actions.. “Should i do this? Should i say that?” Damn. I was sleepless for several months. And finally the day arrived when i could finally see you, and yet every plans made suddenly vanished into thin air. I froze and didn’t know what to do.. I rushed to go inside my friend’s car that moment to give myself time to breathe and relax. I saw you again in the resort we planned to go to, together with our closest friends, and yet i was too shy to look towards your direction. I would try to avoid you and pretend i was too  busy to talk. Thinking about that foolish moment of mine makes me laugh, actually. But thank you, thank you for walking straight up to me after that. For immediately hugging me and for kissing my forehead. I felt better. I felt safe. Sorry for giving you a one-hand hug though, i apologize for being a coward that day. Friends told me straight away that they saw how much you missed me and still genuinely cared for me. I didn’t believe them. I thought that maybe it was a move to silence the awkwardness present. However, there you were again making efforts, telling friends that you still care. Little by little i was beginning to feel comfortable, though i still didn’t know the right words to say. I didn’t want to say the wrong things and reveal my feelings just yet, i was afraid to feel the pain i felt two years ago… But thank God we started talking comfortably at the place we went to after the resort. It felt like old times again, except better. From that day on, everything felt right again. It felt like the clock started ticking again.

I haven’t felt this happy in such a long time. I enjoy the conversations we would have, i enjoy our silent moments together and i enjoy every minute i spend with you. I honestly do. I used to only imagine everything in my mind, i used to only dream about you.. And now, after over three years, my love for you hasn’t changed. We’re here now, stronger than ever. I love you.