Exactly 23 days from now, i will embark on a new and challenging journey. I will say goodbye yet again to another county (temporarily, for now) and will go ahead to another. Though this time, my whole family isn't going with me. This time, it's all about me. This decision has been made so that i could continue my studies, start my college experience and for me to start living independently. I remember this was once just a small idea in my head, it's so weird to think it's actually happening now. That this 18 year old girl will have to toughen up and be more wise in every aspect, because it's very much needed. (Helerrr, being independent isn't just fun and games... Right?)
Late at night, i sometimes wonder if it would've been better if i just continued my studies here along with my sister... Would everything have turned out better? I sometimes wonder whether or not i've made the right choice of going back to my home country. Would i regret it in the future? *sigh*
It was kind of frustrating at first, specially when the decision was newly made. But then after a few weeks have passed, i began to think that i wouldn't want to repeat another year and waste a few more years of my life just staying in high school. Since we've been constantly moving around, we would always be held back in our studies because we're either too early or too late to enter the school year. And this is my case here. I only needed one more year since i've done 11th grade in Berlin already. However, i would have to repeat that year again here because i can't just enter the senior year straight away. So that's 1 year of repeating and then another 2 more years of high school. A total of 3 years if ever. By the time i reach the age of 21, that's the only time i will be able to graduate high school. All my other friends from all the countries i've been in would have already been in uni by this year and i can only do so after the age of 21?! That actually scared me a little. So thinking back, i reckon made the right choice of planning to start my college experience this year. I'm pretty sure it's a decision i know i won't regret.
On a positive note, i genuinely do get really excited at the thought of being able to see and have fun with my friends in the Philippines. I haven't seen them in years! It's been so long that i do get excited but anxious at the same time. We've all changed and i don't know if i can still ride the same boat they do.. But oh well, i'll probably just go with the flow when i get back. Whatever happens happens.
Oh, and since i'm going back because of my studies, i really am planning on doing well. I honestly want to become a better student, so that my parents will see that they don't have to worry about me. They will be living a country away, therefore i wouldn't want to hassle them with petty problems of mine. I will show them that they can trust me and that i can take on responsibilities. As i've said earlier, i'm planning to do all of these. And so i hope this plan goes into action. Haa! I will seriously do my best, and if my old habits do strike back again, i'd probably ask my friends to give me a little slap on the face to wake me up or something. Haa! (Seriously though...)
Since my flight is only 3 weeks away, my mom's been pushing me to start packing already. So i will have to get my luggage out of the storage and start filling them up with tons of clothing. It's going to be pretty hectic, i reckon. That's why i agree with the need to pack as early as next week. Since i'm going to be preparing and organizing my things, i hope i can prepare myself emotionally for this big move as well.
I CAN DO THIS!
Tep
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