It’s been over two weeks since the day i finally got to see you
again.. Since the day i finally got to hug you tight, hold your warm hands and
give you sweet kisses. It felt like a dream, it felt so surreal. I used to only
imagine everything in my mind, i used to only dream about you.. And now, after
over three years, you’re here with me again..
You probably don’t know how much i was overwhelmed with anxiety before i saw you. I was planning everything in my mind, every words and actions.. “Should i do this? Should i say that?” Damn. I was sleepless for several months. And finally the day arrived when i could finally see you, and yet every plans made suddenly vanished into thin air. I froze and didn’t know what to do.. I rushed to go inside my friend’s car that moment to give myself time to breathe and relax. I saw you again in the resort we planned to go to, together with our closest friends, and yet i was too shy to look towards your direction. I would try to avoid you and pretend i was too busy to talk. Thinking about that foolish moment of mine makes me laugh, actually. But thank you, thank you for walking straight up to me after that. For immediately hugging me and for kissing my forehead. I felt better. I felt safe. Sorry for giving you a one-hand hug though, i apologize for being a coward that day. Friends told me straight away that they saw how much you missed me and still genuinely cared for me. I didn’t believe them. I thought that maybe it was a move to silence the awkwardness present. However, there you were again making efforts, telling friends that you still care. Little by little i was beginning to feel comfortable, though i still didn’t know the right words to say. I didn’t want to say the wrong things and reveal my feelings just yet, i was afraid to feel the pain i felt two years ago… But thank God we started talking comfortably at the place we went to after the resort. It felt like old times again, except better. From that day on, everything felt right again. It felt like the clock started ticking again.
You probably don’t know how much i was overwhelmed with anxiety before i saw you. I was planning everything in my mind, every words and actions.. “Should i do this? Should i say that?” Damn. I was sleepless for several months. And finally the day arrived when i could finally see you, and yet every plans made suddenly vanished into thin air. I froze and didn’t know what to do.. I rushed to go inside my friend’s car that moment to give myself time to breathe and relax. I saw you again in the resort we planned to go to, together with our closest friends, and yet i was too shy to look towards your direction. I would try to avoid you and pretend i was too busy to talk. Thinking about that foolish moment of mine makes me laugh, actually. But thank you, thank you for walking straight up to me after that. For immediately hugging me and for kissing my forehead. I felt better. I felt safe. Sorry for giving you a one-hand hug though, i apologize for being a coward that day. Friends told me straight away that they saw how much you missed me and still genuinely cared for me. I didn’t believe them. I thought that maybe it was a move to silence the awkwardness present. However, there you were again making efforts, telling friends that you still care. Little by little i was beginning to feel comfortable, though i still didn’t know the right words to say. I didn’t want to say the wrong things and reveal my feelings just yet, i was afraid to feel the pain i felt two years ago… But thank God we started talking comfortably at the place we went to after the resort. It felt like old times again, except better. From that day on, everything felt right again. It felt like the clock started ticking again.
I haven’t felt this happy in such a long time. I enjoy the conversations we would have, i enjoy our silent moments together and i enjoy every minute i spend with you. I honestly do. I used to only imagine everything in my mind, i used to only dream about you.. And now, after over three years, my love for you hasn’t changed. We’re here now, stronger than ever. I love you.
